Dave Grohl

To some rock is all about the moody stare, the cool pose and the diva theatrics. To those I give you... Foo Fighters main man Dave Grohl. You just know that if you approach Dave in a airport, tell him he's great and ask for a photo that you're not going to be on the receiving end of a cocaine-fuelled rant- you're simply going to get the lovely Dave toothy smile, and there's a realistic chance of a friendly arm round your shoulder. In various musical collaborations Dave has worked with 70% of the world's musicians. Why do so many want to work with him? Is it his formidable drumming? His ability to write enjoyable, sometimes throwaway rock-pop? Nope. It's just cos they want to hang out with the Grohlster. They don't call "The Nicest Man in Rock" for no reason. They call him that because he is (a) a man (b) in rock (c) the nicest in the combined categories of (a) and (b). The core of his loveliness comes from his lack of arrogance or ego. Before I wrote this I looked on the web for any decent quotes from the man- essentially they all say the same thing "I'm a just a regular guy". Unfortunately this makes them desperately uninteresting to actually repeat here, but you get the idea.

The best Grohl story was from May 2006 one of two trapped miners in Tasmania had requested that an iPod containing a Foo Fighters album be lowered down a hole to them. Dave using his lovely super-powers sensed a fan in mortal danger and sent this message to the miners "Though I'm halfway around the world right now, my heart is with you both, and I want you to know that when you come home, there's two tickets to any Foos show, anywhere, and two cold beers waiting for yous. Deal?". One of the miners did indeed take up the offer and had a few brewskis with Dave (who had, naturally, written a song for them).

When the only person in the world with a bad word to say about you is Courtney Love, you know you've earned your place in the pantheon of loveliness. Right I'm off to get my myself trapped in a well and wait for Dave.

Nelson Mandela

Some of you may not believe this, but there's more to Nelson than simply being rhyming slang for the UK's best-selling lager. David Attenborough's lovely, as we have already discussed, but even Fred West would have been lovely if you gave him a job hanging out with animals all over the world for decades on end. Imprison someone for 27 years and then see how lovely they are. It hasn't made Charles Bronson* any lovelier has it? Even before he went to prison he put the 'lovely' into terrorism, making bombing campaigns designed to not cause human injuries.

Now look at him! He is professionally lovely, zipping round the globe blessing people with his sweet amiable smile, silvery hair and funny voice and then leaving little traces of loveliness where he's been.

Here's some quotes from the man himself (who incidentally celebrates his 167th birthday this year).
"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination" (this is clearly a reference to his lovely hair)
"After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb." (the geezer loves a ramble)
"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." (although this quote is in English, as he doesn't like foreigners)
"In my country we go to prison first and then become President." (Nelson summarises South Africa's unorthodox but strangely succesful electoral process)
"Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all." (the wheat intolerant properly piss Nelson off)
"When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat." (when Nelson makes a brew, don't bring up energy efficiency. Or decline toast.)

*=note to Americans- not the dead movie actor, the idiotic, sadistic and kinda cuddly prisoner. With great moustache.

Cate Blanchett

Let's face it, we're jealous. We wish Cate was British don't we? So much so that we're prepared to let her play Queen Elizabeth and any number of English parts. When Zellweger does an English accent we marvel at how good it is. When Cate Blanchett does one, we just pretend she's not Australian and hope she'll eventually forget too. Has Cate Blanchett ever played a baddie? No, cos if she did she'd be Tilda Swinton, who just isn't in the same league of lovliness.

Even when she got all cross and evil as the Elf queen, mouthing about how 'terrible' she'd be if she had the ring, she made power-crazed sadistic evil sound rather inviting. Yes good idea, let's not bother with two films of Frodo making progressively silly faces, let's just let you have the ring,and we can gaze at you whilst you have your reign of terror.

Stephen Fry

The gentle giant. Giant of intellect and stature, Stephen surely would rate as on of the best conversationalists you could hope to meet. If he's reading this he's probably humbly arguing with me, whilst cheerily pointing out in a baritone inflection the enormous inaccuracies in my choice of words. In fact he's probably looking down in his 'everyone's favourite bachelor uncle' type muttering about how I can't use the plural 'inaccuracies' with the singular 'choice'. I love the way he forewent sexual behaviour in the pursuit of some kind of dignified asexual intellectual purity. One gets the impression that all that sex business is just too icky for our Stephen. Fry- we adore you, you clever clever bastard.

Michael Palin CBE

Look at him. Just look at his lovely face. The lovely face of Palin. Using advanced technology, scientists have tried to impose a scowl onto Palin's face. Afterwards they were reported as saying "we just couldn't do it, we killed his pets and broke his kneecaps but he was still asking us if we'd like a drink, and holding doors open for us". These same scientists also observed that if you were take the loveliness out of Michael Palin, he would look like Michael Portillo.

When in Monty Python he was getting by on his comic acting and writing. He was excellent at this, but in a sense his true talent, loveliness, wasn't being put to it's full use. But in 1989 he was given a travel series and he travelled the world introducing foreigners to his charms. in fact it's a wonder we actually have any need for a queen when we already have a Palin.

Palin Facts! He has a train (Virgin Trains Super Voyager 221130) and an asteroid (asteroid 9621 Michaelpalin) .

Ian McKellen

There's a wonderful story about Ian McKellen. Apparantly the following conversation was overheard on set as Ian was speaking to a younger man-

IM:"Do you know the difference between a sandwich and a blow job?"
Chap:"No."
IM: "Excellent! Then you simply must come for a picnic!"

The story is probably misquoted and possibly untrue, but what makes it so brilliant is that you can picture his wicked but utterly benign smile as you read it. Ian McKellen is like a genetic experiment in pure charisma. He is a man that you would like to spend a evening drinking with- bigger than life but also completely approachable and affable. It must have been an absolute epiphany when he was thought of for the role of Gandalf- the most inspired casting decision since Anthony Hopkins played Hannibal Lecter.

The fact that he's gay and outspoken about it completes the picture of a man who is comfortable in his loveliness. Alright, alright I admit I have real problems disassociating him from Gandalf-I know he's not a centuries-old wizard with a hobbit weed habit and a brilliant hat but the fundamental thing that he brought to that part was the effusion of McKellen's inate loveliness. Ian McKellen- goddamn it, you're a lovely man. We salute you.

Sir David Attenborough

I know this is obvious but did you expect a site about lovely people to be controversial? His brother Richard once unleashed a variety of killer dinosaurs on an island but David has a far healthier relationship with nature. Has anyone ever not liked David Attenborough? He does a lot of charity and environmental stuff, but Bono does that and a lot of people shudder with disgust at the mention of him. The reason? It's the 'L' word. The soft voice without a hint of nastiness, the fact that whilst he has the best job in world, he's also the best person in the world for that job. Would you send Jade Goody into a band of gorillas? Possibly, but for very different reasons.

He's so lovely even animals can sense it. If an animal were to eat David, the backlash from other animals would be so intense his/her life would become unbearable. The stingray that killed Steve Irwin has divided opinion in the animal world, some casting him out because of Steve Irwin's charity work, whilst some have hailed him a hero because, to quote an eminent dolphin, "Irwin was taking the piss out us a bit really".

This scenario would be unthinkable for our David. Held aloft by man and beast alike- I give you Sir David Attenborough.

Sir David Fact- there are two animals named after him- a pre-historic reptile dinosaur (Attenborosaurus conybeari) and an echidna (Zaglossus attenboroughi).

Introduction

As much as I've enjoyed writing my other blogs I can't deny that there is a thread of cynicism running through them. Well more of a cable than a thread, but that isn't me. People are often praised for facets of their personality. The amount of times I have read about some moron or bigot being hailed for their 'passion' as if passion is of itself something to be praised and it doesn't matter whether the thing that you are passionate about is torture or charity. You can be a passionate dick, and so many are.

In my ideal world, niceness is appreciated but loveliness is rewarded. This site is dedicated to those people who, when they appear on your television or magazine, exude such an overwhelming sense of loveliness you instantly wish they were your friend/parent/grandfather/whatever.